Online Dating Vs. Job Crushing…. What the?!


We’ve all been there. You’re sitting at your laptop (or your mobile phone, tablet) on a Tuesday evening after a particularly stressful day in the office. Scrolling over numerous profiles, nothing is really catching your eye.

Until you see it.

The one you’ve been waiting for.

It’s as though nothing made sense until this point before.

Your pupils dilate, your heart skips a beat, you feel all giddy. Its the ONE.

Now, you may mistake the above as being a typical venture on one of the thousands of online dating sites around these days, but no, I’m not here to give you top tips on cracking Tinders algorithm to get the maximum amount of dates (someone else already wrote that – its quite an interesting read – nope, I’m talking about a Job Crush.

“A Job Crush Hollie?? What on earth is that?”

A Job crush is actually quite simple to explain. Its your dream job. The one you’ve always wanted, the one you’ve been wanting to land for as long as you can remember, with the employer of your dreams. it is, in your opinion, the role you were born to do.

Pursuing a job crush can be dangerous. Why? It has the potential to cause you to halt your search while you go through the motions with your dream employer. Donning the rose-tinted job search goggles, you allow yourself to fall head over heels with the potential employer, causing you to be unable to pursue any other open positions. You keep telling yourself, “this is the one, I can’t not get this job, its perfect for me!”

Just like a romantic crush, a job crush is dangerous territory to step into. Why? It often leads to heartbreak. Falling hard for one potential job leaves you blind to the possibilities of employment elsewhere. With the average job cycle (aka time it takes to go through the entire hiring process ), at 2+ months, having a job crush can dramatically prolong your job search. Here is a great example: You apply for a job which involves a telephone screen, followed by a face to face selection process, followed by a final interview with the hiring managers. Say there are 3 other candidates in the running. That means, you have a 1 in 4 chance of getting the job – a 25% chance of success. Does stopping the job search sound smart with those odds?


To avoid being bitterly disappointed/heartbroken, here are some tips on how to not fall too hard, too fast on the quest for your next job.

Don’t always assume you’ll be their candidate crush.

As a candidate, you should bear in mind that you are not going to be the only person who is being interviewed, and there may well be another candidate that they fall in love with. Therefore, its worth preparing yourself not to be offered the position. Most sales people will never assume they have the sale in the bag. In fact, they often assume they don’t as a way to motivate them to seek as many new opportunities as they can. How many times have you been to a job interview where you’ve been given all the positive signals you could wish for, get an office tour, followed by being told that they will be in touch shortly, only to be told “thanks, but no thanks” ? If you have other opportunities in the pipeline, it probably wont feel so much like your heart has been ripped out and squashed by the interviewer.

You should expect competition. Remind yourself repeatedly that you must play the numbers. The more potential employers you have, the better your chances you’ll close one.

So you got the offer verbally? Don’t stop until you get it in writing

So you’ve been to the interview, you’ve met the hiring managers, and had a great conversation about the job role, the company, your career aspirations. Everything is going great. You’ve been asked when you can start, and even had “the call” from the recruitment team ( at the very least telling you “its all moving in the right direction”) But you still have another interview to go to. Why would you cancel this?

Simply put, you shouldn’t cancel any interviews until you have a written offer in front of you. It could be that you don’t receive your written offer or your contract from your job crush for a couple of months, or ever – why would you put your job search on hold to wait for an offer? You have nothing to lose by going to an interview that you have already been invited to – who knows, it could be a dream job in disguise (that happens, trust me!)

Create a Bucket list of companies to keep you searching

The fastest way to take your job crush down off the employment pedestal you’ve put it on is to create a list of ten other companies you’d rather work for. There are plenty of fish in the sea. You just need to spend some time fishing!

Create a list of employers you admire and focus on what makes them great. You’ll quickly find yourself putting your job crush into perspective. Companies aren’t soul mates. In fact, every job is temporary and having a bucket list will help you keep that in mind. Not to mention, it will give you a list you can use to focus your job search.

There’s no doubt a job crush can be a tough thing to break. But, you’ll feel ten times worse if you give up looking for work – only to then not get the job. Can you afford that? Don’t let your lust for a particular job get the best of you!


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